Emotions are changing… The pace I was once comfortable with is now merely within my reach. As I watch my life race pass me in speed of light, I fell to the ground only to realize how much I have missed. Subconsciously aware, yet I never allowed myself to think beyond. Here I am, striped bare, sensing the cold chills of my very own blunders.
“Things happen for a reason”
Good or bad, everything happens for a reason. Yet, discovering and realizing the core meaning of the reason seems troublesome. As for me, I vaguely manage to discover it.
Playing along is what I do best.
My words are starting to twist my life itself. Promises unfulfilled. Words spilled out from my lips before I could even think wisely on the consequences. God, I hate making promises in times of desperation, desperation, to lock my true contemplation, desperation to put a smile on someone else’s face besides mine.
I’m not Gandhi nor am I Mother Teresa, no doubt no one is. Yet, I allow the subtle bliss of locking my true emotions and thoughts just to watch others basking in the complete opposite.
“How long can I go on?” I ask myself. That’s when I find myself stranded in a corner of my room, figuring out answers to questions I know I can’t find, or never allowed myself to find. Days pass by, and repetition takes place. Again I find myself making the same mistake. Over and over again, and again I find myself, nearing to self realizations and constant self questioning. Next thing I know, no change has come.
Even at this very point, as I’m typing, my mind asks the same questions…
“How long can I go on?”
Then again, would this last at least another good 10minutes? Or will I finally bring upon myself a change I deserve? Or will I repeat my promises in disguise all over again? Am I alone in this orb of twisted words and abrupt awakenings?
Oh no! Not another set of questions.
Showing posts with label maturity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label maturity. Show all posts
