In need of more 'me'...

Its one of those days where i just want to be alone.
To drift in my pitiful fantasies, to sulk and pamper myself.
Probably with some retail therapy and some short nap's.
However, that's not always the case...

Which gears up my mind, embracing the ultimate question. Will i actually achieve anything that i want? Or will Murphy's law be a bitch and take things under his control? Damn! The hell one has to endure finding the right answer to this. No matter what, we still dream, fantasize, pray and hope to achieve what we want. Here i am sitting in the train rushing off to work, only to realize, no matter how hard i worked on my life i tend to always fall back into square one. Not happy with what I'm doing, not emotionally and financially stable, and often overwhelmed with regrets of certain things i have done in my life.. The only positive event taking place right now is my boyfriend.

Even so, my insecurities on myself is a threat to the "us" we have now. Oh how i wish life ain't so complicated. There i go again wishing for something which i know would end up as another chapter in my book of unrealistic dreams.. I need to vent, yet my verbal skills in expressing the inner me is something i am unable to master. To pen it down seems to be too humiliating at times. The second question i keep asking, i wonder if I'm the only one going through this or is the entire world hitting this apocalyptic thought? Hmm... I'm confident in many ways compared to my friends. I dare say things out loud yet to talk about how depressing certain things are which i kept to myself for years seems to be the hardest thing to do.

Gah! I just need some 'me' time. No human contact no commitments and certainly no annoying screaming kids by my side. *Stares at kid sitting on the next seat.* My stop is here. Wouldn't it be great to achieve something as easy as boarding the train and getting off at our destination....

Ciao folks.

Have a great time in confusion land reading what i just wrote...